The First Thing I Don't Mean

Today was up and down. I'm going to camp in a week, and I should be excited. It's just that every time I think of camp, I think of looking forward to the future. And what's in my future after camp? School. With all of them. I might've been okay if I didn't have three years of it left. I can't stand this. I hope to god camp'll be like it was last year, because the afterglow from last year has been the only thing giving me hope. If this year isn't like that...I'll live. I'll live, but I'll hate every moment of it until next summer. 

I'm being so dramatic, with all this hopelessness...

I don't want this on my shoulders. 

It's freakin heavy, and I already have back problems.